She Walks Before Me

She is six feet one and a half inches tall. Do NOT say she is 6’2” or you will get a face melting look!

NYC 2015

With her father’s round cheeks, freshly dyed blonde hair, her grandmother’s steely blue eyes, her mother’s sarcastic humor, her own deep compassion and graciousness despite her presence, she is a force to be reckoned with and I wouldn’t if I were you!

Laughing 2011

A Southern California girl, she now lives in New York City and has adopted all that is fast about the city that never sleeps.

She would be a socialist if she wasn’t American. She would give her last dollar to a homeless man on the street. However, true to her girly nature, she also loves all that glitters and closets full of dresses. 

She was brought to my mind first in a dream. Her name whispered to me in my sleep. She was not to be denied entry into this life and was born in the middle of a quiet December night..

She barely uttered a hundred words before the age of five and was known to not speak to waiters, doctors, or adults until well past ten. Blossomed into a beauty and could not be stopped by age eighteen.

She is my daughter. She has never been a challenge to me like most mothers and daughters that navigate the teenage years. She has been a joy to me every single day that I have been around her!

She lives across the country.

She is on her own and is happy.

She walks so quickly ahead of me on those city streets while visiting her. She leads where she once used to follow. She is quick to tell me where I do not understand and while with love, the message is clear, “I got this, Mom.”

Tahoe 2010

She exemplifies the paradigm that all parents must one day face. She has needed me deeply for so many years and now she does not. She is thriving and my heart is full of pride. She makes me cry longing for one more moment of putting her hair into pigtails or playing dolls. Yet, I long to see where she will go and what she will become. I am grateful that she has become self-sufficient.

HS Grad 2015

She walks before me into a world with promise. She laughs and loves and learns and is not jaded yet by those things that have slowed me down. She sees the world as something to tackle not to hide from.

I, too, once walked ahead into my own adult life. I, too, did not know that there was one who waited for me to turn around. She was always there to listen, lend a shoulder, or give counsel as one day I will be.

As I watch my daughter walk, I pray that she will lean into our Father to guide her and protect her. I pray that she will make wiser decisions that I did. I pray that she will be more than even she can thinks is possible. I pray for the spouse that will one day carry her heart. I pray that I will be able to stand behind her and not interrupt for that is my place now.

She walks before me and that is where she belongs. 

NYC 2009