I had rebelled in high school in some fairly minor and occasionally major ways. Going to college in a town 2500 miles away felt like a new beginning as well as a chance to live like I wanted.
So I did. I moved to a town where the drinking age was lower than 21 at that time and the beer flowed freely! There were men (boys) and lots of them! I had gone to an all-girl high school and this was my chance to meet him.
Classes started. I went to most. I knew taking 20 units per semester would be no problem for an engineering degree. Until I started having too much fun. Who really goes to 8:00 am classes in college anyway?
Then he was in one of those classes. And I found my way to every single one of those morning classes. We began what I thought was a relationship. We quickly got physical. I was in love............
I realized at Christmas break when I was packing to go back to California that I hadn't used many of my feminine products. When was the last time I had seen that monthly visitor? No need to worry I thought. This must happen to all college freshmen. Right?
He and I broke up when I heard from another freshman girl in January that they were dating. What?
Heartbreak! Late nights out and beer by the pitchers led to classes at any time really difficult to attend.
When the single ladies of my dorm ate Valentine's Day dinner together, on of the topics was how we had all gained the dreaded 15. But one of my friends, bless her heart, told me mine was more like the freshman 30. What? My clothes are tight so what? I am 5'10" 30 lbs is like 10 to most women. Back off!
It was when I came home broken, failing, alcohol addicted, at the end of May that the look on my Mom's face told me what I secretly was hiding...even to myself! I was pregnant and it was too late to do anything about it.
I am 19. I am pregnant and I realize that I am not okay. To top it off my parents are expressing their fear and pain as anger. I truly am a child about to have a child. So it is by myself I go to St. Anne's maternity home to select a set of adoptive parents to raise my soon to be born child.
The books are filled with smiling faces and paragraphs of parenting "know how". I couldn't decide so I went for the couple that looked nice and most like me. Well without the freshman 15 (45).
To be continued....
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